Wednesday, February 8th, 2006
my dear…am i a bit slow to start my own blog in da year 2006…ehheh…i haf always wondered y would ppl wana haf an online diary where everyone in da world can read it…isnt a diary suppose to be private…i guess n i really guess its a way for us to tell our friends wat haf been happening in our lives without really having a cup of coffee wit em..
it has already been 1 year n 2 maybe 3 months since i started flying…n i dono y i still feel home sick at time…i so so so hate tat feeling…i cant sleep cant eat well…thus damn sleepy when im onboard n my level of patience will drop…as if my level of patience was already so high…well…i always tell myself its life n we goto go thru it…but i just wonder y these feeling comes n goes as they like…i haf never ever been good as controlling my feelings…or maybe i dint put an effort to…this feeling is bak after CNY…tats y im writting this..now i remember i started my own blog…talking abt CNY im so so happy to be home..from one day b4 eve till coh 4 then only went bak to sin…spend all da days wit my family n friends…really was a reunion for me…even though i dont get involve in all da activities tat my relatives haf had it going on eg gambling..ehhe…i just like being present..maybe kei poh cih…but i like to feel da warmness of everyone bak at home..cuz all bak together at one time…other then my family..friends…oh my dear friends…i would dare to say sometimes some of da most important friends (which I am da one who consider important n not those who consider themselves)don really know how much i appreciate them..or perhaps appreciate friendship..they really dono how important they r to me..i guess its cuz i dont haf any siblings..n other then family they r da closest to me..(not talking /including abt my dear bf here)they dono sometimes how much i feel disapointed but i do not show it out anymore..its not tat i wana expect everyone to come out for mamak when im bak …i do understand when they r bz wit stuff but sometimes those excuses r really avoidable…avoidable as in sacrifices "could" be made to c their dear old friend who works ina nother country…not tat far though but still….but i feel as a grow up…i did not put those disapointment in my heart like i used to which would turn in anger..but not anymore…i try to understand…forget n forgive even though they haf no idea abt it..but i do know if something bad were to happen to me..they r a few who would be there to lend their shoulders..ears…n all those organs ler..i know they would be there for me..as for da one who’s staying da furthest i must say she is da one who understands me da most..we do not chat on da phone…not tat i do to any of my frens anymore…except my dear old bf…but when we do chat online i could just feel tat she understand how i feel..even though some things other ppl cant help u to solve or watever but for u to know somebody actually undertands how u feel is just enough….i guess my expectations on friendship is slightly higher then my group of frens…i guess but i dono lar….
